I was thinking about how limited my memory is when it comes to my childhood. I remember a lot of things, but there is a lot I don’t remember. My sister Mary Jane seems to have the memory of an elephant, she seems to remember everyone we went to school with, every relative visit, and every big event in the news, I swear she remembers things from infancy. I think our human nature is to remember a lot of the negative things in life but I love to think back on the positive things and how and if those experiences play a role in my adult life. I know many people who came from abusive and dysfunctional homes, often blame their parents for their life choices. I am sure my parent’s influence has contributed to some of my choices, opinions, marriage, and child rearing. For example, in raising my children, I was determined to do the complete opposite of how my parents raised me, at least in the area of discipline. Although as much as I tried, I didn’t escape it all and I made my own share o...

In my adult life, I have learned that forgiving someone doesn’t always mean reconciling a relationship, but in some cases, it can if it’s desired by both or all parties. I’ve done a lot of praying on this subject and I truly believe God has given me the gift of discernment when it comes to reading people and situations.  Recently, through a death in the family, some reconciliation and growth has been happening in a previously fractured relationship. My husband and I and the other couple I speak of have come together with the common goal of doing right by the deceased and doing what we could to honor her wishes because those who were supposedly responsible for the plans and last wishes being fulfilled, dropped the ball, made the plans about themselves and ignored the last wishes of the deceased. The relationship I speak of was nonexistent for twenty or more years. All parties involved, including myself and my husband, played a role in the damage. Most of what happened to ruin the re...

  The saying is “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and it’s a saying I try to live by, but right now I feel like the small stuff has multiplied and has turned into one humongous pile of suck! I try to laugh every day, thank God for my blessings, wake up every morning with a positive attitude and face the day with good intentions. I pleasantly say “Good morning” to anyone I see. This week however, I let the doom and gloom of others bring me down. I’m hurt, I’m sad, and I’m downright pissed off! The big stuff in my life, I feel God gives me the strength to deal with daily. When the one you love has chronic illness, the small stuff seems so trivial. I think I’m more angry with myself because I have been focusing on the big stuff, and the small stuff piled up quick and snuck up on me.  It’s my favorite time of year, fall is approaching and everything about fall has always brought me joy. The beautiful New England foliage, pumpkins, cozy clothes, a new school year, beautiful temperature...

 Normally I like my birthdays, every one is pleasant and many let me know they are thinking of me. This year is a little harder. This is the first birthday of 58 years that my mother won’t be calling me at 10:30 am to say “Happy Birthday, Baby Girl”. It’s one of those things we may take for granted, although I didn’t. I actually loved the tradition of my mom calling all of her children at the time they were born. Right up into her 87th year, she didn’t forget. Unfortunately, she passed away just 6 days after my birthday last year. So this year with that missing phone call and the first anniversary of her death approaching, it stings! I think with losing my mother in law just a little over 3 weeks ago and the stress and chaos surrounding that (see previous blog), I’m in a funk anyway. Watching Mike’s health decline is an on going battle and the stress his brother & niece have caused hasn’t helped. Yesterday at work, there was a pot stirrer among us, stuff like that usually rolls...

  It's funny how the death of a loved one can bring out the best and the worst in people. It's been a very challenging time trying to navigate my own feelings of losing my mother-in-law, a woman I hated to love and loved to hate so to speak. Truth is, I loved her very much. At the beginning of Mike and my relationship, his mother was less than welcoming. I have never really had that problem when meeting new people. I've always been a friendly person and I believe most people like me when they meet me. Over time the relationship between Jeannette and I had good times and bad. It didn't take long for me to see the dysfunction in my inlaws, which consisted of Mike's mother and his siblings. I too come from a big family, with its own dysfunction and we have always had ups and downs from time to time, but the drama, lies, and intentional hurt that this family brought into our lives was on a whole new level and a new experience for me. Both bad and good memories were made...