Mike came home Monday afternoon from his 29 day stay in the hospital. So far he is doing ok. Still weak of course and in quite a bit of pain, as his back is still healing from the 2 fractures. I am exhausted to say the least. I’ve been working 6-7 hours everyday of “vacation” from my first job, coming home, cooking, dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, making Oscar’s food, waiting on Mike, planning a renal/diabetic menu for the week. This morning I packed his dialysis bag, and a renal friendly snack so he’d be good to go when his ride got there. Tomorrow my day will be a 10 hour work day and then babysitting two of the grandkids (which is a treat). I should get home around 11pm. I will make Mike’s meals before I leave for work in the morning. Saturday is my day to take him to and from dialysis. Again I am exhausted, however, this is not me complaining. I would much rather be exhausted than widowed.  This has been a very tough month both physically and mentally, but I am so grateful t...

                                                    Day 25 What a week it has been. Today I think I reached a bit of a breaking point and finally had a bit of a cry for myself. It’s funny how the big things, such as Mike being so ill, I have handled pretty well, but the little things are the things that finally make me want to just give up. No, I will never give up, it’s not an option, but some days it feels like the weight on my shoulders is getting a bit too heavy. Today is one of those days.  Today we said good bye to my Aunt Norma, just a few weeks ago, we did the same for my Aunt Pauline and just a few months before her, Uncle Lenny. Three very big losses, as well as combining my cousin Kenny’s send off with his dad’s (Uncle Lenny). I also lost two long time friends. I feel like I haven’t even fully grasped or fully grieved my mother who died ...

  Day 18 of the latest hospital stay for Mike. I feel like I’m in the movie Ground hog day. Same thing, different day. Work job #1, go home to let Oscar out, go to job # 2, go home to let Oscar out & feed him, off to the hospital to visit Mike, home by 8:00, snuggle Oscar for awhile, eat whatever, go to bed, wake up and start all over.  Today was a little different, Job #1 called a snow day so here I am, working at job #2. Taking care of 15 kids. “Mrs. L, he won’t play with me”, “Mrs. L. He’s being mean to me” Mrs. L, somebody’s water bottle spilled and there is a big puddle on the floor” , “Mrs. L, can you tie this?”, “Mrs. L, how do you spell bunny?”, Mrs. L, I had the pink puppy and she stole it from me, “Mrs. L, can you iron my pearler beads?”, …. Just when my head is going to explode if I hear “Mrs. L” one more time, I get a random hug or a colored picture which I can’t even identify, but am told it’s for me because “I love you and you’re so nice”…. Yeah, it’s worth i...

The last 5 weeks have been nothing short of crazy. A roller coaster ride of emotions. On January 2nd, Mike went to urgent care and was diagnosed with the flu. He was sent from there to the ER because his oxygen was too low, he was admitted.  On January 4th, we had our extended family Christmas party which he wasn’t able to attend. On January 5th our daughter, son in law and 3 grandchildren left our home to go back to theirs in Florida, he didn’t get to see them off. Mike remained in the hospital, not only was he battling the flu, he contracted C-dif while he was there. He was released a week after admission, on Thursday, January 9th. Two days later, on Saturday, the 11th, I brought him back to the ER because his oxygen was dangerously low. This time, he was diagnosed with pneumonia. He begged not to be admitted after only being home for 1 day, so the doctor sent him home on 3 antibiotics, oxygen and visiting nurses 2 x a week.  On January 12th, I attended the “celebration of l...

It’s been a day! I’m emotionally and physically drained as I write this, but so grateful for the answered prayers.  Mike was taken down to the operating room around 8:30 am, and surgery for a Hemodialysis port started I believe at 9:45. He was out around 11:45, normally this surgery takes about 30 minutes to an hour and is normally done under “twilight anesthesia” or local anesthesia with sedation but, because of the complications of his fusions and inability to lay flat as well as his 2 fractured vertebrae, he was put under general anesthesia. To get him to lay as flat as possible, his back was moved in ways it hasn’t moved in years which most likely aggregated underused muscles as well as the fractures that are already there. He tolerated the surgery and anesthesia well, no complications, but came out of it with severe back pain. It took awhile, but after 2 doses of 2 different pain medications, they were able to control his pain to a tolerable level.  Around 3 pm Mike was t...

  Day #9 (Day 18 since 1/2/25) of Mike in the hospital. First and foremost, we both want to thank you all for your prayers, love and support.  Yesterday after the decision was made to get the ball rolling on dialysis, Mike and I spoke with a woman from vascular surgery about the procedure to place his port for dialysis. She explained the minor risks of this procedure but then realized the complication of Mike’s neck/back fusion from his Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). The procedure requires the patient to lay flat, Mike is not able to lay flat and his neck is very limited on how far he can turn it left and right. The procedure can’t really be done in a sitting up or slightly reclined position because it cause’s a big risk of an air embolism. Because of this, this woman had to go back to the surgeon and come up with another plan. I am not sure yet what the plan is as they haven’t called me yet this morning, but Mike’s day nurse said that it is a go for this afternoon.  So PLE...