Bittersweet Boarding

                      


At St. Pete’s airport. The noise of rolling suitcases. Flight announcements echoing overhead, people rushing to their next destination, everything keeps moving. 

I’m sitting here in a little airport café, just finished a bacon, egg & cheese bagel and sipping my tea. Sitting still in the moment, thinking about the last 5 days. It’s bittersweet.

I’m getting ready to board a flight home, and while part of me is ready, ready for my routine, my own bed, and the comfort of familiarity, another part of me aches knowing what I’m leaving behind. Saying goodbye to my daughter never gets easier, no matter how many times I do it. Watching her in her life, with her family, fills me with pride, but leaving her still tugs at something deep inside me. Then there is the grandkids. The snuggles, the little giggles, the little arms wrapped tightly around me like they never want to let go. Those are the moments that will stay with me long after my suitcase is unpacked.

At the same time, my heart feels a sense of relief that I’ve been holding onto. Mike was finally discharged from the hospital yesterday. Those words alone bring a breath I didn’t even realize I’ve been holding. It’s been a stretch of worry and waiting, but knowing he’s home now brings a sense of peace that makes this flight feel different, lighter somehow. Then of course there is Oscar, I can only imagine how much he has missed us. How many times he’s waited by the door or perked up at every sound, hoping it was us coming home. That kind of love is simple and pure and I’ve missed him just as much.

So here I sit between two worlds. One filled with warmth and family I’m leaving behind and one waiting for me at home. That’s the thing about love, it stretches you. It lives at multiple places at once, and while goodbyes never get easier, they remind me how blessed I am to have so much to miss.

I glance down at my boarding pass and can’t help but roll my eyes, but smile… a middle seat…ugh! Here’s hoping it’s in an empty row, that maybe, just maybe, I won’t be sandwiched between two strangers. Elbows tucked in and knees pressed tight. By the look of the crowd at the gate, it doesn’t look too promising. Either way, I’ll settle in, reminding myself that this too is just part of the journey. That is what this morning is all about, transitions, goodbyes, gratitude and trust. Trust that what I’m leaving behind is held in love and what I’m heading toward, is waiting with it.

Maybe somewhere between taking off and landing, I’ll find a quiet moment to close my eyes, whisper a prayer of thanks, and rest in the in between.

Home is calling!

“The Lord will watch over you coming and going, both now and forevermore” ~ Psalm121:8

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