W is for Wisdom


                       

 W is for wisdom

I used to think wisdom came with age. Now I think it comes with attention. With paying attention to what breaks you, to what heals you. To what keeps showing up until you finally learn the lesson. Life has been a relentless teacher.

Thirty-two years of marriage will do that, chronic illness will do that, raising kids will do that, working in a nursing field or special education will do that, and loving someone through diagnoses you never saw coming will definitely do that.

I’m learning that wisdom isn’t knowing all the answers. It’s knowing which battles aren’t worth fighting. It’s recognizing when your tone matters more than your point. It’s understanding that being right and being loving are not always the same thing.

Wisdom has softened me over the years. It’s taught me that people act out of pain more often than malice. That control is mostly an illusion. That tomorrow is never guaranteed. An ordinary night at home is sacred.

Wisdom has taught me a lot about myself. That I can endure more than I thought. That I need rest even when the world doesn’t stop. Rest is not weakness, it’s recalibration. That saying “no” or “not right now” is not failure, it’s that I don’t have to set myself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

Some lessons I have learned the hard way, some I have resisted. Some I am still in the middle of learning. I think the truest thing wisdom has given me is compassion, for my husband, my children, for my students and clients and for the younger version of me who didn’t know what she didn’t know. Maybe that’s what wisdom really is, not information or age but a softer heart paired with steadier footing.

If this A-Z journey has taught me anything, it’s that every letter carries a lesson, and I’m still learning.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

It turns out wisdom isn’t something I will achieve, it’s something I ask for. Thankfully, God is patient while I’m still learning.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another Day, Another Procedure and a Whole Bunch of Feelings

Image
  Another day spent at Portsmouth Hospital with Mike. Today he had a Fistulagram also known as a Fistulography. It’s an imaging test where they insert a needle and dye and do some imaging to make sure the fistula in his arm is working properly before they can remove the Central Venous Catheter (CVC) which he has had since February. Since Mike has stage 5 kidney disease, this Fistula is a life line for dialysis. He did well during the procedure, even though there was a lot of pressure and discomfort. The test showed that he had scar tissue built up from a previous antibiotic picc line, so they had to open it up with a balloon. He was in the operating room for about an hour and in recovery for another hour. Starting Tuesday, the nurse’s at the dialysis center will try using the arm Fistula for the next 3 sessions. Once it is proven to be working properly, an appointment will be scheduled to get the CVC removed from his chest. He can’t wait to get rid of that thing.  Another upda...
Read more

Update in the Michael Health Chronicles

Image
  As I posted on Friday, Mike’s dialysis fistula placement surgery went well. He had a bit of a tough weekend. Dialysis on Saturday was a bit rough between the fatigue and pain from the surgery the day before. We are grateful it all went well though, a step in the right direction. But, in true Mike fashion, it’s one step up and two steps back. On Saturday we got notice from Lahey Clinic saying that Mike will not be put on the kidney transplant list at this time, as we suspected but it’s still disappointing. After all the tests he went through, his team of doctors determined that he is too high risk at this time and would more than likely, not survive the surgery. He is still considered fragile and has to continue to gain some strength back as well as get his broken back fixed. They will retest everything and reassess in January.  We will not give up, we still trust God’s plans for us no matter what they are. The winds have changed a bit so we must adjust the sails. With school...
Read more

P is for Patiently Waiting (and Plans That Changed Overnight)

Image
                       P is for Patiently Waiting (and Plans That Changed Overnight) I was supposed to be boarding a plane to Florida today. There should have been sunshine. Grandbaby giggles. Frosting on little fingers. A suitcase with sandals instead of snow boots. Instead, I’m sitting in a hospital room. Mike’s AV fistula collapsed from a blood clot. A thrombectomy was performed this morning. He's in dialysis now. The steady beep of machines instead of the sound of “Happy Birthday.” This is not the plan I had circled on the calendar. But here’s the thing about patience, it rarely shows up when you’re lounging in Florida. It shows up in waiting rooms. In the space between “we thought” and “we trust.” Mike's body has been fighting battles most people will never see — Ankylosing Spondylitis, chronic kidney disease, diabetes, a broken back, and today was another reminder that our life is often measured not in vacations, ...
Read more