M is for Mosaic (A metaphor of my life)

                    





 If you look at a mosaic up close, it doesn’t make sense. It looks like a mistake. It’s just a bunch of broken pieces, jagged edges, different colors that don’t seem to belong together. Chips of glass, fragments of tile, things that were once whole, now rearranged. Up close, it looks like a mess. Step back though, it’s art, a masterpiece.

My life has not been one solid slab of smooth marble, it’s been pieces, bright ones, dull ones and sharp ones. It has been a mosaic.

There are bright tiles- my babies born and theirs babies born. Friendships that have lasted since childhood, a marriage that has stood the test of time.

There are deep colored, sharp pieces too, hospital rooms, diagnosis, with too many syllables, long nights, learning how to be strong and soft at the same time. Becoming a caregiver when I didn’t apply for the job and some how loving fiercely in the middle of it.

There are ordinary pieces, the everyday tiles, the earth tones, beiges, muted greens etc.- School hallways, special-ed rooms, wiping noses, grocery runs, errands and laundry piles.

I didn’t ask for the sharp ones, the ones that cut a little when I touch them. But I’ve learned that God doesn’t waste shards. He doesn’t sweep up what feels broken and discard it. He sets it, places it, he fits it next to something unexpected. He sees a bigger picture than I do when I’m staring at one fragment wondering how it could possibly belong.

I would not have chosen every tile in my mosaic, but I am beginning to see the picture. Strength next to tenderness, laughter beside lament, caregiver and artist, wife, mother and grandmother, tired and faithful, fragile and held.

A mosaic isn’t beautiful because the pieces are flawless. It’s beautiful because they’re held together by something stronger than themselves.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him.”~Romans 8:28

All things, not just the shiny tiles! 

M is for Mosaic. Apparently, I was never falling apart, I was being arranged.

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