N is for No (and Not Yet).



 I used to think “no” meant rejection. A closed door, a missed opportunity, a failure. A prayer that wasn’t answered the way I thought it might be.

I have said no reluctantly in my life, to extra responsibilities, to overcommitting to things that would have benefitted others but drained me dry. Every time, I wrestled with guilt as if rest were laziness. As if boundaries were unkind.  Once I started dragging and then realized I have Hemolytic Anemia, I realized that saying no may actually provide me with the rest I need both physically and mentally. Sometimes my no, protects my yes.

  • Yes to my husband’s health.
  • Yes to being present with my grandchildren.
  • Yes to showing up whole at work and not just running on fumes.
Yes to sitting quietly with the Lord instead of falling asleep mid prayer, from exhaustion. Sometimes I have to say no to those who take advantage of my yeses.

Then there is God’s no. The prayers that felt unanswered. The outcomes I begged to be different and the timelines I would have chosen if I was in charge. But more often than not, God’s no wasn’t a rejection, it was a “not right now.”

  • Not right now because you’re still growing. 
  • Not right now because you can’t see what I see.
  • Not right now because I am building endurance in you.
Not right now because this delay is for your protection.

As a caregiver, mother, grandmother and a wife walking alongside chronic illness, I don’t love waiting. I like plans and progress. I like the bottom line. But faith has taught me that some of the most loving answers are pauses. 

No can mean:

  • Slow down
  • Stay here
  • Trust me
  • Breathe 
Jesus himself heard “wait” in the wilderness before he ever stepped into public ministry. (Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13,Luke 4:1-13).

Preparation is not punishment and delay is not denial.

I am learning to see no, not as a slammed door but as a steady hand on my shoulder. If God is saying “not yet,” then I can stand firm where I am. I can release what I can’t force. I can stop striving to pry open doors that he has gently closed. 

Strength isn’t pushing past every barrier. Sometimes strength is kneeling in prayer, waiting, trusting that the one who says no or not yet, is the one who holds the future.

That kind of surrender is not weakness, it’s faith with a backbone.


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