A year of Loss, Love and God’s faithfulness

The beginning of the year found Mike in the hospital for 67 long days, with a week, or a 2 day home visit in between, before readmission. Days were filled with waiting rooms, unanswered questions, fear and prayers whispered through exhaustion. His health continued to demand center stage, starting with the flu, pneumonia, stage 5 kidney failure, starting dialysis 3 times a week. Eventually discharged to home on oxygen. A chest port placed then months later removed, an arm fistula procedure, a fall which caused a broken back in two places, his T11 & T12 thoracic spine, that added another layer of pain and limitation. Then he got another heart stent, a diabetic ulcer on his foot that took months to heal. For more than half the year he had a visiting nurse three times a week, a constant reminder that life had shifted into survival mode.

Along side the medical battles came deep grief, 2 aunts, a cousin and several friends and acquaintances passed away. Loss seemed to stack upon loss and some days felt like there was barely room to breathe between one sorrow and the next. 

Then there was the house issues, our place of refuge sprung 3 leaks in the roof, followed by a broken sink pipe, a dryer that died, a frozen back door damaged by a huge ice dam and a failed hot water heater. It felt as though everything, including Mike was breaking all at once.

But this year was not only a story of hardship, it was also a story of people. Friends, family and even strangers came together in a way that still humbles us. A fundraiser was held that provided exactly enough money to replace our roof, build a safe platform and wheelchair ramp. People showed up in tangible ways reminding us we are not alone. 

Several people are still being angels on earth so to speak by continuing to drive Mike to and from dialysis each week. That kind of steady, faithful kindness is no small thing, it is a huge help and blessing to us.

This year also brought us plenty of moments of joy too. Our youngest son, Jacob married his beautiful bride, Darcy and we gained another wonderful daughter in law. Our great nephew Tristin married his beautiful bride Yanique. A great-great nephew was born, reminding us that even in hard seasons, life keeps arriving.

Two cousins beat cancer, a victory we do not take lightly and we are praising God for. Such an answer to prayer.

Over the summer our daughter Aubrey and our grandkids, Noelle, Britton and Finnley came to visit from Florida and filled our home with love and laughter for two weeks, at the end of their stay, our son in law Nick was able to join them, it was so nice to have them all here.

Christmas brought another gift, time with our kids and grandkids. Aubrey’s family joined us on FaceTime, not perfect, we wished they could have physically been here with us, but we are still grateful for the technology so they could join us.

This year held fear and grief, exhaustion and uncertainty, but it also held provision, celebration, healing and community. It reminded us that blessings don’t cancel out pain but they can exist right alongside it.

This year taught me that faith doesn’t mean the absence of fear or grief. It means choosing to trust God when the path ahead is unclear, when prayers feel desperate and when strength seems to run out before the day does. There were moments when I couldn’t see how we would keep going, but God already knew.

He provided in ways we never could have imagined. Through doctors and nurses, through friends and family who became lifelines and through strangers who became answers to prayer. He met us in hospital rooms, dialysis chairs, in sleepless nights, and in quiet moments when all we could do is say “Lord, help us.” Even in loss he was near, even in weakness, he was faithful, even when life felt like it was falling apart, God was holding us together.

We end this year not untouched by pain, but deeply aware of his presence. Carrying grief, yes, but also carrying gratitude. Because through it all, God never left us and his grace truly was sufficient for each day.

On this last day of the year, we spent it quietly at home, being totally lazy. We had a short but sweet visit with our Godson/great nephew, Luke. Then at exactly midnight, I got to kiss my husband because God has chosen to let me keep him a bit longer, despite the odds. I am grateful!

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”-Isaiah 43:2