Stop lying!!!!!!

 There are people in this world who lie, not occasionally but constantly, as easily as they breathe.  I’m not talking about the lies we have all told from time to time to spare feelings or smooth a situation. I am talking about compulsive lying. They lie about where they’ve been, who they know, what they’ve done, and sometimes about the smallest, most pointless things. The lies where every story is exaggerated, every memory embellished and every truth twisted just enough to make them seem more important, more interesting or more victimized. It’s not always about gain or manipulation, I think sometimes they simply lie because it becomes part of who they are.

I often wonder why. Why create stories so far fetched that no person with common sense could possibly believe them? Do they really think others are fooled or are they the fools who have convinced themselves that their own lies are true? I’m almost embarrassed for them, don’t they realize that they are being talked about? Then again, maybe that’s what they want.

I’ve known people like this, and honestly, it leaves me shaking my head. Sometimes their stories are so outlandish that I can’t imagine anyone believing them. I wonder if their spouses and their kids buy into these tall tales or do they just play along to keep the peace? Maybe it’s easier to just nod and pretend than to constantly confront the lies. Do they feel that the truth just isn’t enough to make them lovable or special? Or have they been lying so long that they believe their own lies?

It bothers me more than I want to admit, I don’t know if it’s part of my OCD or because lying chips away at trust and trust is the foundation of every real friendship or relationship. When I realize I can’t believe what someone says, it changes how I see them and it changes how I feel about them. Then sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way because deep down, I know people who lie like that are broken in someway. Maybe they grew up unseen, unheard or constantly compared. Maybe lying became their way to survive, to create a world where they felt like they mattered. I’m guessing their lies are about an emptiness they are trying to fill or at mental illness.

Still, it doesn’t make it easier, it’s hard to like someone who lives in a state of delusion. It’s hard to listen when every sentence comes with a question mark. It’s especially hard for me when some of what they say could be true and because of the seriousness of the subject, I don’t want to doubt them. I would never want to doubt someone who was a victim of abuse of some sort, but because everything else they spew is lies, I have my doubts. It angers me because people like this takes away the credibility of those who have truly been through some of these situations.

I’m learning that letting their lies steal my peace only gives them more power. I don’t need to expose their lies or prove what is true. I can simply acknowledge what is real, step away from the noise and remind myself that their behavior is no reflection on me. So maybe the lesson in all this is that I can’t stop people from lying, but I can stop letting them live rent free in my mind. I can choose calm over anger, grace over frustration and truth over the urge to fix what isn’t mine to fix.

At the end of the day, I can only live my own life, walk in honesty. My dad always said “If you are going to be a good liar, you’ve got to have a good memory.” I don’t have a good memory….so…. Not to mention, the scriptures.

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy” Proverbs 12:22

“Do not lie to one another” Colossians 3:9