Grace in Humility

It is natural for me to step in and help others in their time of need but accepting help can feel uncomfortable, embarrassing and unnatural. Mike and I are the ones who make the meals and deliver them, pray for and with others. I donate to causes and jump in to help any time I can. I feel it’s what God wants me to do, and it brings me joy to bless others. 

 Over the years, especially with Mike’s poor health and inability to work, we have had help from time to time, but we have always paid it forward and I have always worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to provide for ourselves, so not to have to rely on the welfare system. I firmly believe if we are able to work, we should. Although we don’t have a fancy house or what this world considers riches and status, we are rich in faith, friends and family.

Most people who know us, know how difficult this last year has been, especially the end of 2024 and beginning of 2025. We are used to Mike being chronically ill, but December right up until now has brought a whole new set of challenges. He has avoided dialysis for years but is now on it 3 times a week for his survival. He’s also dealing with an unforeseen broken back and a diabetic ulcer on his foot. He and his doctor have agreed it is time to rely more often on a wheelchair, another thing he has avoided as much as possible. 

This has been a scary season. I truly didn’t think he would be able to come back home after over a month stay in the hospital. I thought he was heading for our eternal home, but thankfully, God chose to let him stay here awhile longer.

The saying goes “when it rains it pours”, I’ve always thought “what a stupid saying” but I get it now, I’m living it. While Mike was in the hospital, things kept happening. Our kitchen faucet cracked and sprung a leak and needed a repair. A big ice dam caused major damage to our back door. It was frozen shut for a week or so, only allowing us one exit. Thank God there was no need to escape through that route. Then my kitchen ceiling started leaking, a seam in the ceiling split and now sags. When that happened, I went around the house and checked all the rooms, to find we had four more leaks. Needless to say, we need a new roof. Thankfully we had family come to the rescue, fixing the sink, breaking up the ice damn (we still need a new door) and tarping the whole roof until we can get a new one. 

We have had many step up and give Mike rides to dialysis and other appointments. So far I have only had to be out of work for one day when we couldn’t find him a ride, but I had an appointment too. Oh did I mention I have a torn ligament in my knee? (When it rains it pours).

So here we are. When Mike was in the hospital a friend approached me about having a fundraiser to help Mike and me. At first I said “absolutely not.” As grateful as I (we) are, it feels like a punch to the stomach. At first I just continued the facade that everything was fine and I just asked people to keep us in prayer. Something my mother said to me years ago was “let people bless you, don’t rob them of their joy”, as much as I hate to admit it, that statement nagged at me. I know it does my heart good to help others, so she is right, who am I to rob others of their joy? 

This also reminds me of the parable of the drowning man who prayed for God to rescue him when flood waters were rushing into his home. In his head, he saw God reaching down his hand and lifting him to safety. God had sent the man’s neighbor in a pick up truck, but he refused saying “God will rescue me”, then a boat and a helicopter, but the man refused them all because in his mind he thought he knew how God would rescue him. He drowned and went to Heaven and questioned God, asking why he didn’t save him. God replied “I sent you a pick up truck, a row boat and a helicopter, you refused them all, what else could I possibly do for you?”

A few of my friends got together and are planning this fundraiser. I just saw the flier for it and again, it’s a hard pill to swallow, very humbling. Pride (or should I say Satan) is a sneaky thing, it makes you believe that accepting help is weakness, that we are being a burden to others, but Mike and I have realized that we do need the help and God is helping us in many ways. The truth is, accepting help doesn’t make us weak, it makes us human. We do need to throw away the pride and accept the help and thank God for his faithfulness. We humbly are giving up the resistance, we are letting others help us as we enjoy helping others. It’s a lesson in grace and humility and in trusting the people God has placed in our lives. We are realizing to accept the help, is not weakness, it is love in action, both giving and receiving.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and earth. Psalm 121: 1-2