It’s ok to feel bad sometimes.


 I don’t often complain and I make a conscious effort every day to find the good in every circumstance. There are days when I feel down but I don’t marinate in self pity, it’s just not me. Today however, I am struggling. Maybe it is self pity and I hate to allow myself to feel the way I do, but I am feeling down right sad, disappointed and taken for granted by some of the people who mean most to me.

I think sometimes I set myself up for disappointment because I expect people to treat me the way I treat them. I know I need to remind myself that these people are not me and it’s probably unrealistic to expect them to think the way I do or have the same heart as I do. I’m sitting here wondering if this chronic anemia/fatigue is contributing to my feeling sad or maybe the grief over losing my mom recently is a contributing factor. Maybe it’s a combination of many things that are allowing me to feel like crawling under a rock and shutting out the world or maybe it’s just that I have several self absorbed, inconsiderate people in my life. 

I was taught to treat people the way I want to be treated and although, I have failed at this many times, I do make an effort daily. I’m starting to think some people weren’t taught that lesson. I do for others without expectations of getting anything in return, in fact, doing for others, brings me joy. Today however, I feel taken for granted. 

I’d like to address this with some people but at the same time, I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to make them feel bad because honestly, they may not even realize they are hurting me by their carelessness or lack of effort. I feel if I did address certain things with certain people, they would either react in a negative way, with denial and excuses or they’d make an effort out of obligation. I just wish they cared about me as much as I care about them. This paragraph sounds like I’m trying to control people and that is the last thing I want to do. I’m just venting. It helps me to put these feelings into words so I can leave them here in this blog and let them (the feelings, not the people) go.

Anyway, If you stumbled across this blog, I hope what you’ll get out of it that it is ok to feel your feelings, just don’t get stuck there or wallow in it and take a moment and think, am I thoughtful? Do I treat people the way I want to be treated? Am I taking others for granted?

If you appreciate someone, tell them. No need for elaborate gifts. A kind word, a card, a hug, a visit…any of these things don’t take a lot of effort, but they can mean the world to someone else. One of the best things you can give to someone is a bit of your time because time goes by fast and at some point, time will run out.


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