It’s hard to find the right words when you’re watching your friend break over and over again. I pray for her and her family and I trust that God has a plan for them, I know he does, but sitting back and not being able to fix it for her, or save her from her grief, is hard. I think every good mother worries or at least is concerned for their children at all times, even when their children are adults. In her case, her son struggles with alcoholism and watching him slide down the slippery slope of self harm is devastating to her. She has done everything she can to help him, but she is learning the hard lesson that there is a fine line between helping and enabling. I wish I could carry her burden for a while, just to give her Mama heart a rest. But all I can do is pray, give her a few words of advice and be here if and when she needs to talk. It’s so hard to see someone you love hurt themselves as well as the ones they love, due to addiction. My dad, a reformed alcoholic said many ye...

There’s a strange mixture of silence and buzz that happens in a hospital cafeteria.  It’s not really a silence, but a nervous calm. Hard to describe, but a feeling I’ve become accustomed to with all the times I have waited while Mike is getting one procedure or another or simply just recovering. There’s a low hum of doctors and nurses grabbing a quick coffee as they pass through or the clicks of a key board where somebody is tapping away. An occasional laugh or sneeze or a muffled conversation of a visitor on their cell phone. But underneath it all is a stillness, like everyone is holding their breath in unspoken solidarity. I’m sitting at a little table with 3 empty chairs next to me. Drinking an iced tea and eating a ham & cheese wrap that I barely remember ordering. I was reading a book that I brought along and then realized I had no recollection of anything I read, even though I read the same page twice. I finished my lunch and moved to the family waiting a...

Closed out June and now into July. School & Sandlot (my two jobs) came to an end, which has given Mike and me a little time to spend with some of the grand kids. Our oldest daughter and her 3 kids came up for a visit and her husband joined at the end of 2 weeks and they headed back to Florida. I’ve done some babysitting for Lilly & Elijah and we had a cookout this last weekend where we were able to spend time with 3 of our 4 kids and 5 of our 7 grandkids. Mike stayed home due to the heat, but I enjoyed watching the fireworks from my sister’s house with her, her friend, my niece and her girls, my daughter, son in law and their 3 children. It was nice, I hadn’t gone in a few years. I even got a few hours at the beach with my daughter and her kids and I loved every minute of it.   We have finally been able to give our faithful drivers a little time off from bringing Mike to and from dialysis. They have been such a blessing and certainly deserve a break.  Today is the...